How to Walk the Tightrope Between Friend and Boss

From my experience managing roughly 25 employees who were all within 3 years of my own age, I can understand the difficulties that all employers face while trying to balance on that thin line between friendship and employer/employee.

The two common pitfalls:

1) “I don’t care if they like me! I’m their boss!” – but then you have a staff of uninspired employees with no real motivation to perform their best. Like they say in the movie Office Space, they’re willing to work just hard enough not to get fired. And in the worst case scenario, your staff detests you and dreads your company which does nothing positive for the overall office environment.

2) “I want them all to like me.” – first of all, you have heard the phrase that you can’t please everyone all the time, right? And also, this mentality leads to a staff that holds no respect for your authority and continually disregards your directions or reprimands.

To be absolutely honest, I fluctuated between both of these extremes as a new manager, and it took me quite a few weeks to find my balance. In the end, I discovered the best way to interact with my employees was to lead with the strict and soften it with the friend. I told both old and new hires that there were policies which had to be followed strictly, but there were also places where leniency could be allowed – yes, you do have to meet this deadline, but I’m comfortable with you taking a 10 minute break to clear your head and walk down to the coffee shop.

Both extremes lead to an unproductive atmosphere, which is why the tightrope-walk is so important. Work with the dynamic of your office, and establish yourself as the type of manager that your employees value both for your authority and your friendship. This happy medium creates a much more positive environment and employees who are motivated to produce quality work.